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Top 10 Absolute Worst Posts of 2012

Written by Justin Hammack

WARNING: BAD CONTENT INSIDE!

Excessive exposure to bad content has been linked to irreversible brain damage. Women should not read bad content during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. Consumption of bad content may impair your ability to drive or operate machinery, and may cause sudden death syndrome.

Wine Folly is nearing our 1 year anniversary.
This means a couple of things: That we are drinking a lot of wine. It also means that we’re taking a good hard look at what worked and what didn’t over the last year.

While slightly intoxicated we had an idea. (Likely a bad idea.) Why not celebrate our worst posts of 2012? Without further ado, we present to you…
 

10-worst-wine-articles
Yep. We suck.

 

Top 10 Worst Posts of 2012

 

#10 The Champagne Spoon Trick Works.. If You Believe in Magic

A Champagne Spoon by Ruinart to Preserve Bubbles
It’s a fun little myth that a silver spoon can keep your Champagne nice and bubbly. We actually like this post, but the metrics tell us it’s a stinker. Oh well! (original post)


 

#9 Single Serving Tip: Reuse Small Wine Bottles

Small Wine Bottles
Remember that one time when you couldn’t finish a bottle of wine? (Yeah, neither do we.) Anyhow, a great way to keep leftover wine would be to store it in a smaller bottle. Not a popular idea. It’s apparently easier to finish the bottle than to labor over measuring it out and resealing it. (original post)


 

#8 Alternative Wine Closures


*sarcasm* OH WOW! Look at this cork? It’s so remarkably different than this cork! My oh my, great grandpa’s rubbery elephant ear, this is something remarkable! */sarcasm* You get as excited about corks as we do, right? No, apparently not. Bummer. (original post)


 

#7 Wine & Dine for Under $20: Veuve du Vernay


Wouldn’t it be great to get a full blown wine dinner out of $20? We thought so! Turns out, that’s pretty hard. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible, but you either sacrifice the wine or the dinner ingredients. In any case, we think most people found our pairing to be an incomplete meal. (original post)


 

#6 Wine Coolers: Not wine. Not cool.

bartles & jaymes 1980s wine cooler ad
What? You don’t want to sit on a porch and drink a wine cooler..
with that old guy?
Come on! Wine coolers are ultra hip, am’i’right bro? (original post)
p.s. ice cold wine cooler, does that even make sense?


 

#5 Burgundy Wine Statistics [infographic]


Burgundy nerds unanimously (all 8 of them) celebrated our analytical infographic of last year’s sales. You see, the market share is really a product of the wine produced and the derivitive wine sales when compared to international promotions rather than the… **zzzZZZzz** (original post)


 

LAST CHANCE: It’s going to get really scary from here on out. You cannot unsee the following..

 

#4 Wine Buying Tips Everyone Should Know

pinkies up!
Does size really matter? Apparently everyone already knows. Illusions, Romans, fancy bottles and a 75% rule; what do these all have in common? Absolutely nothing. Put your pinkies up and your wine glasses back, it’s time to get gentlemanly. (original post)


 

#3 Zero-Waste Wineries Appeal to Spirit & Cocktail Lovers

A Zero Waste Winery converts wine making waste into brandy and grappa
Let’s save the world together. We’ll reuse everything. Glass bottles, cardboard boxes, rotten grapes, leftover wine after a tasting.. Wait, what? Ok, maybe not that. But how about a complicated directionless post that generalizes an entire industry and digresses to simple cocktails? (original post)


 

#2 T.G.I. Wine Haikus

Wine Haiku for a Wine Filled Friday
Hurry, someone grab an acoustic guitar, an old blanket and some candles. Let’s sit around in a circle and read poetry while we drink wine. Maybe.. if we drink enough, we can write some wine haikus! Certainly a great idea. (original post)


 

#1 Love in the Cellar: Cold & Wet

"Love in the Cellar" a bad wine
What parallels can we draw between wine and sex without it getting awkward? Let’s take that concept and package it in an anecdotal story about a life experience which lacks context for the reader. (original post)


 
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Written byJustin Hammack

When I'm not drinking wine, I'm also.. a rails developer, vegetarian foodie, coffee addict, casual gamer, lover of cult movies, driver of insane turbo-2.0L ... in Seattle.


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